Today I have been married to my honey for 21 years... yep, TWENTY-ONE years. I remember thinking at two years of marriage that it felt like we'd been together lifetime and yet felt like only yesterday when we were married at the same time. But today, I tried to reflect on how I felt... but it just feels.... well....
Normal....
..... part of my routine. I know, there's nothing magical to report. I don't hear love songs playing in the background and I don't feel comfortable posting about that we're anything less then average.
Do I feel like it's Happily Every After?
Nope... not really there yet (ask me in 20 more years). Do I feel like I'm more "in love with him today then I was yesterday?" Not really because he came home, yelled at a kid or two and then farted reminding me that the magic of marriage is LONG gone.
You would think with 21 years of marriage would mean that I am better at "being married," then say someone with only 10 years of marriage. But I highly doubt that is the case. I still feel like I fight for each day...try to find something good in it. Try not to get frustrated and not expect too much. Some days it feels like we're just roommates headed for the same goal but not always going about it together.
Do I think I'd be better off "not" married? NOPE, not for a second. I believe watching my kids, that having their dad here really does matter. Do I think having him here for me matters as well? Absolutely! He is definitely the ROCK in our family...sometimes a stubborn, immovable rock that spends more time watching TV then he should, but a rock still the same. Does this man I've been married to for 21 years have my back. 100% ....he would be the first one there to defend me, cheer for me and carry me if needed.I just wanted to be real. I can honestly say I love him and I would miss him if he weren't here. Could we use some work on the marriage thing? For sure!! In fact, couldn't everyone from 1 year of marriage to 21. It does take a LOT of PATIENCE and even more compromise. But I cannot overlook the fact that LOVE is sandwiched in there somewhere.
But I am thankful that we've made it to 21 years together. My mom pointed out today that it's been longer then her two marriages put together, HA, HA. Anyway, here's to only getting better with practice.
Comments
I loved talking to you yesterday...you are so real and cool and real some more. I don't feel like I have to guard myself when I talk to you. You totally get what I mean about that, right? I love ya lady and am so happy that you and that guy are where you are!!
I too can relate, I have been married for 27 years in June. Met him when I was in high school, very young. We have grown up together, while raising our three kids. We are almost empty nester's. For the last ten years he has worked out of town 4 days , home three so we each have our space. Now not sure what it will be like if and when we are together 24/7?
You bring so much light with you. I love that I know you.
I am so glad you are a part of my life now, you bring me sunshine!
XOXO
Andrea
I am a new subscriber and the first entry I see is this one...my thoughts are...congratulations to you and your hubby on 21 years and I wish everyone had the courage to be REAL!...If I had a check box for each sentence...I would have said: "check, check and check"...Dave and I are going on 29...do we have to work at it..heck, yeah..does it get easier...nope, it just gets different...so glad to be a part of your Blog and creativity!
Tina
I would also like to thank you for sharing with such honesty as so many people would opt for the sugar-coated version. You showed true devotion to your marriage by simply telling it as it is... farts and all!
My dear old mum 'warned' me that marriage wasn't the Cinderella story most little girls dream of. Her perception was more along the lines of: hard work, determination, communication and friendship glued together by a little bit of love. I get it now! And to be honest I couldn't even tell you how many years I've been married, the farmer and I have never really counted anniversaries and most years the day passes without either of us realising. We just know we are together, whether we like it or not :) x
Congratulations, and may you have MANY, MANY more!